A Christmas Message from The 286

Spencer 286 writes:

Hello 286ers!!!

Just a quick message to all our fans wishing them all an absolutely fantastic Christmas and a happy New Year. Christmas wouldn't be right without presents and we're all looking forward to waking up to see what Santa Claus has bought us. Speaking of the big man, I found this picture of Father Christmas holding a cello and thought I'd include it with this blog entry. He's a bit creepy isn't he? Anyway, despite the fact he's verging on looking like the creepy doll from the Saw movie series (but just with a beard), he's holding a cello, so that's good enough for me to include in the blog!

I've was given an early Christmas present today - a musicians joke book. You will all have heard at least one guitarist or drummer joke in the past - there are millions of them - but this book has a whole chapter on classical musicians! How great is that?! So, in true Christmas cracker style, here are a few violinist jokes for you to savour (sorry Adaq!)

Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?
A: The bow is moving

Q: What does a violin and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is pleased when the case is closed

Q: What is the difference between a violinist and a dog?
A: A dog knows when to stop scratching

...and I couldn't let our cellists get away scot free could I?

Q: Why was the cellist staring at the orange juice bottle?
A: Because the label said concentrate

Q: How do you get a cello to sound beautiful
A: Sell it and buy a violin

So that's it from us for 2010! For those of you who live near London our first gig of the year is on Thursday 6 January in the basement bar of 4 Denmark St in the West End (the Alley Cat Club). More details can be found on our band page tab on our Facebook profile. It'll be great to see some of you there.

A 286 Message To Santa Claus

Dear Father Christmas,

I hope you and the elves are well. All of us here in The 286 can't wait for Christmas. Ash has been driving everyone in the band nuts by playing Slade's Merry Xmas Everybody non stop on his toy Casio keyboard and Alex has been out every night carol singing around South East London. Harry's even been out roasting his chestnuts on an open fire. So, it feels about the right time to drop you a short letter giving you our 286 Christmas wish list!

We have been very good musicians this year - we've eaten all our vegetables every day and have helped numerous old people across the road. Nathan even gave up drinking tea for a week, that's how good he's been. Anyway, with that in mind, we have a whole stack of things we'd love to open on Christmas morning:

If you've been reading our blog you'll know how much Adaq wants a SSL4000G+ recording cosole (http://the286.blogspot.com/2010/10/286-recordings-update-andy-wallace.html). If it fits down the chimney, he'd love you to get him one.

Liv is getting bored of her current cello and would love a brand new Stradivarius, if that's not too much bother. Only a few years ago a strad violin sold for $3.5m http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/12824291/ns/today-entertainment/ - if you could get her the cello equivalent she'd be a very happy girl. Just in case they are in short supply, she'd settle for some more rosin for her bow as she keeps dropping hers on the floor...

Turning to the rockers in the band, Nathan has specifically asked for a drum sponsorship deal with Hayman. You would've thought that after all the years he has been playing them they would've given him an honoury sponsorship, but there you go.

Spencer would like the 286 bus to run on time for once. He's been catching it a lot lately and it's never running on time. Maybe one of your reindeer could be on stand by to give it a helping hand when it starts falling behind time.

Becky got her Christmas pressie early, when she got her beloved Micro Korg synthesiser. If you could arrange for her to magically become an expert on it overnight, then that would be grand!

Finally, as a stocking filler a nice little record deal for this little unsigned band wouldn't go a miss!!!

All of us in The 286 wish you a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year. If you're looking to take a break from it all in January please drop by one of our gigs

Love,

The 286

PS send our love to Rudolph and the rest of the reindeer crew.

x